how the heck did i get here?

having had a few days to reflect on things i began to form a philosophy on my existence. first of all, where did i come from? my mother? God? a random collection of oxygen, carbon and hydrogen? these are all fine answers, but, really, where did we all come from? naturally, this was the first question i asked of my neighbor in the hospital nursery. question marks hang thick in the air in any hospital, but no area so thick as over the bassinet of each newborn child. incidentally, my neighbor's answer was, "sheboygan," so it was clear i would have to look elsewhere for an answer. luckily it was my big sister, josefina, who gave me a start in my journey toward a personal philosophy.

infanthood is a tough gig. don't let anybody say different. while the entire adult world is oohing and aahing over the "little baby" saying we have it so easy because we have somebody else do everything for us--whether it be feeding us, bathing us, or wiping our tiny little bums--we are quietly (or sometimes not so quietly) suffering through an explosion of knowledge the likes of which we never see again until perhaps death. apart from the physical trauma we sprites go through at birth, mentally, each new moment of life is a forced recognition of something never conceived before. each learned item leads to a question that further adds to the comprehension of the universe. at this stage of life, the theory of special relativity can be pondered on the same level as the theory of 'what goes in baby must come out.' i'll tell you, it is an exhausting and frustrating time. colic, you say? no, that baby is crying because she is trying wrap her head around the idea that a subatomic particle can seemingly occupy more than one specific area of a space at the same time.

i have the distinct advantage of having an older sister who, early on, believed that a newborn lives entirely in each moment and knows nothing outside that moment. i have found this to be true, but i can expand on that to say with each moment comes that much more self-realization. trouble is, with the every realization of identity, the more the physical and psychological realities of the human body limit our ability to learn. in other words, we actually get dumber as we age.

josefina, and hermann hesse, taught me that knowledge can be attained independently or it can be communicated, but wisdom cannot be communicated. while i believe one can achieve wisdom through reflection, you also need time and experiences. so, i guess you could say what separates seniors from babies is the ability to achieve wisdom. to finally get back on point, i haven't been around long enough to figure out where i came from. in fact i may never know until i am old and grumpy and fishing through an icehole in wisconsin. hmmmmm... maybe that baby in the nursery knew something after all.

~~greta